The Next Right Choice - A Crystal Ball Moment
I believe it would currently be easier to land my children on the moon than easily choose the next option for their primary years. I’ve been blessed to have them with me at preschool for their foundation years and realise as the chapter draws to a close how much I have enjoyed the proximity, involvement and security bubble this has offered us.
As we have been navigating the timeline around leaving elementary school and selecting a primary school (this conundrum apparently reoccurs again when selecting a high school and similarly around the topic of tertiary education) I have found myself asking questions and feeling uncertain. So much is taking place in education, demanding that I prepare fully for the next chapter of my daughter’s lives and at least take the time to figure out what I actually feel is important for them.
So I researched, chatted with fellow parents, educators and learners. I explored all methods of schooling; public, private, cottage, the home-schooling community and even the idea of possibly being my children’s teacher. I gained further knowledge around the CAPs curriculum, Cambridge and Montessori. I investigated the BELA bill. I asked questions. I got curious.
Subsequently I further compiled THE SPREADSHEET. (I see the raised eyebrows and sense the questioning looks) Why, you ask! Let me first point out that it lists all the schools and options in our area and has multiple columns containing the offerings and applicable costs of what is available in our town. An attempt to summarise the information overload and emotion around this topic. The deeper why is in answer to a promise I made as I became a mom, to be as conscious as possible in the choices I make for my girls. My own why, of sorts.
Considering the school I desire might not be a good option for my girls based on their needs or that the school I desire might not have availability, THE spreadsheet serves to give me some sense of control and calm, a comfort blanket as I try peer into the future.
As parents we are faced with many crossroads choices. Moments in our lives where we try make the next right decision. A crystal ball would definitely assist during this time but in the absence of this tool I’ve partnered with my trusty spreadsheet, examining it for clues to clarify my decision making.
The overwhelming responsibility as a parent to “get it right” as I make decisions for my children isn’t taken lightly but often due to the pace and pressure of life there is not enough time to pause and ponder over the choice to be made and truly reflect and answer some much needed questions before taking the next step.
The town where we live is blessed with a multitude of schools that have great offerings both in the public and private sector. Demand however is high as the rapidly expanding ex-village welcomes new residents at a faster rate than could ever have been planned for. It is this column labelled DEMAND vs SUPPLY (or don’t get your hopes up) that sets into motion a ripple that is beyond my control and creates an anxious feeling in my chest as I feel more forced into a decision than being free to make it.
After having chatted with other anxious parents around this transition and the choices available I reflected that from this fear based position my deeper beliefs in what I want for my children within education are completely overridden with the need to “just get a place” and be thankful for that. Relieved to have a solution to the supply-need-demand equation as opposed to convicted in my choice.
I further realised the immense financial trajectory and impact the placement at a particular school can mean for our family forcing us possibly, with time, out of our comfort zone. As this domino falls the weighted ripple cuts deep as I hope our spend will translate into the impossible, guaranteed satisfaction, of course.
How to navigate this time has been the theme of the last months forcing me to get clear on what I want to say yes to and what I say no to. It has further demanded that I take time to examine the needs of our family and each individual child and what I believe is important in the next chapter of their schooling and development.
I calmed my busy monkey mind that had become quite overwhelmed in the discussions with other parents and the data of the spreadsheet while searching for answers and distilled to some simple conclusions. I know my children best. Guarantees do not exist. No decision cannot be undone. Then I got very clear on, my children’s needs, our finances, and what is available within that realm.
Then we visited schools, near and far that were potentially schooling options for us armed with key questions. Yes, there were the typical questions that are usually answered in the “tour” and then there were some more nuanced questions that left nothing to that dangerous parenting companion, assumption.
My children were part of discussions around school visits and that I was busy searching for what would work for our family. They also spent time at the different schools that allowed this. Underpinning all our chats was the idea of trust in the adult (that’s me) in ultimately making the best decision while we spit-balled numerous different scenarios and I spoke them through these potential scenarios. We spoke of their experiences at the different schools, we discussed homeschooling and even at one point were travelling the world in a bus in our chats. I must admit I’m still really drawn to this idea!
Ultimately however, parenting isn’t a spreadsheet, no matter how colour coded, it’s an accumulation of moments that we face and show up the best we can. It’s knowing that we already have everything we need to navigate the next chapter. Each other.